Responsibilities
of the Mother of the Groom
The mother
of the groom is often at a loss as to exactly what role she plays in the
marriage of her son. This is even more true when she has not participated
previously in a wedding for a daughter or other sibling. The following rules of
etiquette are shared to increase the joy and fulfil the traditional
responsibilities of the mother of the groom.
Her
responsibilities include:
•The first
rule of etiquette to be followed upon receiving news of the impending
nuptials is to initiate contact between
the families. Introducing herself and
her husband to the bride's parents is her first responsibility. This may be as simple as making a call to the
bride's mother and telling her how happy she is about the engagement or an
informal invitation to dinner at their home.
If preferred, dinner at a nice restaurant is always in order. This may be with or without the couple in
attendance.
If the parents live far away, a friendly
letter is appropriate. A snapshot of the
family and maybe even one of her son as a small child is always welcomed by the
bride's mother and is a kind gesture.
•The
importance of providing an accurate and timely guest list can neither be over
emphasized, nor the importance of sticking to the guidelines given her as to
the number of guests she many invite.
Remember to include zip codes.
•It is the
bride's mother who will first select a dress for her daughters wedding. A gown
of complimentary colour and similar
styling is then chosen by the mother of the groom. She must wear long if the bride's mother
wears long or short if she wears short.
The colour should not match the bridesmaids, nor the brides' mother, but
compliment both.
•Reservations
for out-of-town guests, invited by the groom's family, are the responsibility
of the mother of the groom. It will be much more convenient if a block of rooms
are reserved at a nearby hotel, which is near her home.
•It is the
responsibility of the groom's parents to host the rehearsal dinner. This can be as simple as a salad potluck with
paper plates in the backyard or as elaborate as an exotic dinner with live
entertainment in the finest restaurant.
Everyone who takes a part in the ceremony is invited to the dinner. It is proper etiquette to invite the spouse
or significant other of those participating, and the parents of children in the
wedding.
•Scheduled
family photographs, prior to the wedding, will dictate the groom's parents time
of arrival. If photos are not scheduled to be taken before the ceremony, the
arrival should be no less than one hour before the appointed time
•As the
wedding begins, the groom's mother will be escorted down the aisle, to the
first pew, right-hand side, by the head usher or a groomsman who is a family
member. A nice touch includes the groom
escorting his mother down the aisle. As
the groom's mother is escorted to her seat, her husband will follow along
behind. However, if the parents are
divorced, the father of the groom will have been seated previously, two pews
behind the mother.
•The role as
mother of the groom, in the ceremony, may include lighting the family candle on
the altar, along with the mother of the bride.
Family candles are lit after the candle lighters have left the altar
area, and prior to the entrance of the wedding party.
•The first
official duty of the mother of the groom, during the reception is to stand in
the receiving line greeting guests and introducing her friends and family to
the bride and her family.
Traditionally she stands between the bride and her mother. If the fathers of the couple choose to stand
in the line, she will stand between them.
•Be familiar
with the responsibilities of the Maid of Honour.
You may want to have a conversation with the Maid of Honour to coordinate
and avoid stepping on each other's toes.
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