Tuesday, February 10, 2015

The Flowergirl....

Congratulations – your daughter is a flower girl! Now what are you supposed to do? Being the parent of the most adorable wedding attendant means you have duties, too. Here’s the top line info you need to know:


THE DRESS:

Start collecting your pennies because traditionally the flower girl’s parents pay for her dress and accessories. Selecting the style is up to the bride, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t offer her guidance, especially if she’s not experienced buying children’s clothing. You don’t want your size 6 child to end up with a size 4 dress, no matter how cute the gown may be.

PRE-WEDDING EVENTS:

As a member of the wedding party, the flower girl can expect invitations to all the fun festivities surrounding the wedding: bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, brunches, etc. The one exception: the hen's party. Thankfully, that one is usually held way past her bedtime.

THE REHEARSAL:

Even if she’s worn a hole in your carpet from all her practicing, it’s important for the flower girl to attend the official wedding rehearsal. There she’ll meet everyone involved in the ceremony and will feel like part of the team. The person running the rehearsal will give the flower girl her marching orders, or rather, what is expected of her as she walks down the aisle. Hopefully, all this will help to ease her anxiety and get her excited for the big day.

THE DAY OF THE WEDDING:

Don’t be late! The bride may request that the flower girl arrive early along with the rest of the wedding party. Unfortunately, this could make for a very long and tiring day. Be sure to bring stain proof, low sugar snacks and activities to keep her entertained, like the 

PICTURES:

She’ll be all smiles, if you both are prepared. The flower girl should be included in the formal portraits, which may be taken before and/or after the ceremony. The picture taking process can be long and laborious (it’s tough being a model!), so explain to your child that she will be expected to smile, pose nicely, and follow all the photographer’s requests. Keep hair products on hand for touch ups.

THE PROCESSIONAL:

It’s time for her to strut her stuff. Traditionally, the flower girl follows the ring bearer down the aisle and precedes the maid of honor, but it’s also appropriate for the flower girl to make her entrance right before the bride. She might be asked to toss petals from a basket, hand flowers to guests, carry a bouquet, or perform some other creative task. The goal is for her to make it to the end of the aisle, and most importantly, look cute while doing it.

DURING THE CEREMONY:

To sit or stand, that is the question – and you are probably the best person to answer. After the flower girl completes her walk down the aisle, she can sit with a relative in the front or stand with the rest of the wedding party. You will know which option works best for your child, so be sure to suggest it to the bride. At the end of the ceremony, the flower girl walks back up the aisle in front of the maid of honor.

THE RECEPTION:

It’s party time…but first some formalities. The flower girl is not required to stand in the receiving line, but she may be officially introduced along with the rest of the wedding party. Rather than sit at the head table for the meal, the flower girl dines with her parents. By this point in the wedding, you and your daughter have completed your duties. You did it! Feel free to grab a piece of wedding cake, kick it on the dance floor, and ENJOY!
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Friday, February 6, 2015

Hens Night.




Step by Step Guide to planning a Hens Night



Step 1) Ask the Bride to be what she wants! - Sounds simple but so many people forget who the hen party it for and start planning what they want instead. Imagine if the bride wants a relaxing spa day with a few close friends and family and you start planning a weekend away to Ibiza with everyone she’s ever met.

Step 2) Get together a guest list. - When discussing with the bride her ideas for the party get her to write down a guest list. Make sure you understand who the most important attendees are. It is highly unlikely you will be able to find a date to suit everybody and it will be more important to the Bride that certain guests are there over others. For example a sister would usually come above a work colleague. But this is something only the Bride will no so its vital to ask her.

Step 3) Find a date - As a general rule the more in advance you pick the date the better. More people are likely to attend if they're given enough notice. It also means that the excuse "I haven't got enough money" won't be an issue as they are given time to save up. Just discuss with the Bride what dates work for her and go from there. Try and leave the meeting with at least 3 alternative date choices. If you want to go away for the hen party you need to remember to factor in peoples jobs. For example if anyone is a teacher will they be able to go outside of the school holidays?

Step 4) After you have talked things through with the Bride to be you should have enough information to crack on with the planning her a night to remember.  If most of the guests are on facebook it is a good idea to start a group so everyone can be kept up with the planning. If anyone isn't on facebook then make sure you keep them posted via text / email so they don't feel left out. If any guests feel excluded it may make them not want to attend the party.

Step 5) This is where things start to become tricky. You can guarantee that as soon as you start suggesting dates and ideas that people will begin causing problems. It is important to remember you can't please everybody and to try and work through the problems as best you can.  Don't get frustrated and stay calm when dealing with difficult guests. For example if someone is  insisting the date is change because they are working maybe ask if they have considered swapping shifts with a colleague or simply attending the hen night after they finish work.

Step 6) Budget. This is another area where you get to see the true colours of a the brides friends and family. One of the easiest ways to avoid arguments is by separating the hen party into several sections.  Such as:

*Daytime Activity* - e.g.  Spa trips, theme parks etc
*Evening Activity* - Going for a meal
*Night Activity* - Night out in pubs / clubs

This way you are offering the guests a chance to explain what they can / want to go to. So if they attend the whole day it may cost £100 yet if they just come for the meal and night out it maybe more like £40.  This is also an excellent way to address the "do I invite the mother of the bride to the hen party?” As they could just attend the spa and evening meal but can be at home before the drunken party times begin.

However don't let people use this as an excuse to not attend the costly parts of the party. Just remind them it’s important to the bride and it’s what she wants. However if they really can't afford it then it’s better for them to attend some parts rather than not at all.

Step 7) Theme - This again is something that the Bride needs to be happy with. Are they the kind of person who shies away from attention or do they adore the spotlight? If they hate the idea of people looking at them then it’s probably best to go for a more elegant and relaxed theme. Rather than splashing out on all the pink accessories and blow up men you can find.  Check the themes tab at the top of the site for inspiration. 


Common Dilemmas and questions -


Should the mums be at the Hen Do?

This really depends on the Bride. If she can't think of anything worse than her friends and her mother socialising then it’s probably not a good idea for them to be invited. It is likely all her friends are expecting a night filled with drinking and embarrassing stories. Will she really want her mother in law to hear the juicy gossip about her past? However some people can't imagine their hen party without their mum being there. So it really is down to personal preference. Most brides tend to invite mums and aunties to the more civilized part of the night - such as a nice meal or spa day.


How much will it cost?

With the average hen party costing each guest well over £100 you can see why this is a highly debated topic. As a general rule the more money you want people to spend the fewer guests who will attend. Would you prefer to do what you want but there are less people? Or would you prefer to cut back a bit and have everyone there?  A weekend away to Barcelona costs approximately £250 per hen for the flights and accommodation.


Guests who won't pay to go

There will always be difficult guests who moan that they can't afford to go. You won't be able to please everyone with your choice so try and not let it affect you too much. People are more likely to attend if it seems like you are trying to get good deals and compromising with prices. You could try and cut back on one or two things to make it cheaper so they would be more likely to attend. For example if you are planning on taking a Limo on a night out then switching it to a normal taxi may save each hen £30. Although a taxi won't be as special as a limo you could get creative and "Pimp" it out with balloons and photos.
You will still have an amazing time no matter how you choose to arrive!


What to do about out of town guests? 

Its likely that the Bride is going to know people who don't live locally. This can be difficult if the chief bridesmaid planning the party doesn't know the person. Be helpful to them and suggest hotels which would be near to where you are going. If they're worried about the cost you could always invite them to stay at your place after the party. Although this seems a bit odd now after you've spent the day partying and swopping stories you'll feel like old friends. Plus they'll feel more inclined to come if its shown that they are really wanted there. The harder you make it for the guests to say no the less likely people are to let you down last minute.


Pay for the bride?

As a standard rule it is expected that the Bride doesn't pay for things on her hen party. Imagine if someone was planning your hen night then asked you for £100. It just takes away for the night being special for the Bride. So when workings out how much it costs make sure you include the brides cost. So if there are 12 of you going in total you should split the cost between 11.


Hiring a Stripper?

If you are planning on hiring a stripper make sure the bride WOULD enjoy it!
If you’re not sure it’s probably now worth the risk. Also this will bump up the bill for the hens to pay so check with them before deciding if it’s worth it.


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Saturday, January 24, 2015

Wedding Etiquette Advice

Second Wedding Etiquette

Not that long ago, popular thought dictated that second weddings should not be elaborate, formal or extravagant; rather, one should aim for smaller, quieter and more intimate. Today, however, more than 30 percent of today’s weddings are encore weddings and decidedly more commonplace. The focus is on celebrating two people who have found each other, discovering love again and embarking on a new beginning. In truth, celebrations can be as elaborate or as intimate as we desire, without fearing social stigma.

Ceremonies and Vows

Civil ceremonies tend to be the most popular with encore brides, but a religious ceremony is entirely appropriate. If you choose a religious ceremony, meet with your officiant, clergy member, etc. about any “hoops” through which you might need need to jump.
There are endless possibilities for making your second wedding even more special. Writing personalized vows is very popular for encore couples, and entire books are devoted to the subject. Including your children in the ceremony is a wonderful way to symbolize the joining of your two families and to help them feel as though they are an essential part of your celebration. They can escort you down the aisle, read a poem or scripture, serve as attendants or as a part of my favorite ritual: the lighting of a unity candle.


Who will walk you down that aisle? Happily for us, these days it can be anyone: your mother, child, two children or best friend—or you can choose not to have anyone do so. In fact, traditional Jewish processions include both sets of grandparents and parents. The parents stand with the bridal party under the chuppah (wedding canopy) during the ceremony. You can create your own tradition, with all of your children walking beside you and your groom and standing with you at the altar. You’re bound only by your imagination.
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Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Choosing a Band


Music for the Wedding
There are thousands of function bands on the scene and it can be difficult to know which one would be best. The first thing you need to do is work out your budget which will determine the size of the band you want to book. Once you have researched various bands and found ones you like, make sure you ask the right questions such as:
  1. How long has the band been together?
    This is quite an important question as it will give you a good idea of how much function experience the band you are booking has. The last thing you you want to do is book a band that has only played a limited amount of functions. Bands with experience know how to get the dance-floor packed and keep it that way. Also with any function from time to time the event can overrun, by booking an experienced band they can work around this to ensure minimal time is lost and maximum performance is achieved.
  2. Can the band play a variety of musical styles?
    When choosing your band it is important that you choose a band that can play all genres of music. Bear in mind, that your wedding will have a massive age range of guests; therefore not all the guests will have the same taste in music. As a bandleader, I like to describe this as ‘the spinning plate’s effect’. Basically as the band play a set, I will merge all styles and genres in such a way that the guests do not notice which makes the music enjoyable for everyone.
  3. Can the band play the First Dance?
    It is standard that all experienced function bands will play your First Dance so do not be afraid to ask. Alternatively you may prefer to use the original version which can be played through an iPod.
  4. Can I see the band play live?
    Most bands play public gigs so that prospective clients can hear them. As a client it is far more reassuring knowing that you have had a ‘taster’ of what the band actually sound like and how they work the audience. Also by hearing the band, it will no doubt give you more questions that you can put to the band. After all, it is your big day and you will want to ensure it is perfect.
  5. Can I choose the songs that I want the band to play?
    Most band websites will have a repertoire list that you can choose songs from. I would say though the best thing to do is describe to the bandleader what type of feel you want the wedding to have rather then choosing each and every song. The reason I say this, a good party band will know what works and what doesn’t. After all that is what you are partly paying the band for, their experience.

    Also a good party band will run one song into another to avoid pauses on the dance-floor which keeps everything alive.
  6. Does the band have PLI and PAT certificates?
    All bands require Public Liability Insurance (usually between 5 and 10 million pounds) and Portable Appliance Testing certificates on their powered equipment which are standard electrical tests. To play in a venue, this is essential. If the band does not have these it is a safe bet that the band has little playing experience and probably no experience in managing events.
  7. Make sure you get the right quote.
    When bands give you a quote, this generally is for an arrival time of 6pm and finish time of midnight. If your event runs later, you could be faced with an extra charge so always mention up front. Standard is either 3 x 40 minute sets or 2 x 1 hour sets with DJ music in between.
  8. Always check that a live band is permitted at your venue.
    It is important to check with your venue that they are permitted to have a live band and if there are any restrictions with this.
  9. The venue has a noise limiter; can I still have a live band?
    It really depends what the noise limiter is set to. If it is very low, you would be better of with a smaller band or DJ. Most bands work around noise limiters so find out what decibel level the limiter is set to. The majority of noise limiters work on a traffic light system, where green is safe, amber is a warning and red more often then not will cut the power so if you have a limiter make sure the band you are booking has dealt with them in the past.
  10. There is a big difference in price, which one do I go for?
    To be honest, you do get what you pay for. If you book a pub band and pay £150 over a professional band that’s £1,250 don’t expect miracles!

    It’s always worth listening to the band demo recordings ( both live and studio) before you make your final decision. Also ask your friends and family which band they like If you cannot decide from one or the other.
  11. How much space does the band need?
    Standard is 2.5 x 3.5 metres for a small band.
  12. Do the band provide lighting and PA (sound system)?
    Yes should be the answer and this should be included in the quote given to you. In certain circumstances it may be necessary to hire in extra equipment dependent on the size of the venue.

It is always a good idea to speak to the bandleader over the phone just to make sure this is someone who is easily approachable. It will always make things a lot easier!

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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Know your man !!


The phrases that men hate to hear








Image: © Monkey Business / Fotolia
The phrases that men hate to hear are usually the ones that women use most often (and they are serious).
We don’t know if it is a protective response or they are just tired of hearing it, but men pretend they are deaf or they burst out when they hear these hateful phrases.
Here are some of the most awful phrases for the men’s ears…and how can you say the same thing, but in a different way.



“We’ve got to talk.”
Usually most women keep their emotions down and wait until their patience runs over…then they explode and decide to deal with the problem straight away. It doesn’t matter why you use these words, but they really annoy men, because they make them expect something awful to happen. That is why if you want to start a serious conversation, the best option is to do it when you are making something together with your husband (having dinner, watching TV, laying). Just paraphrase your sentence to make him comfortable.

“I am so fat.”
Here is the problem: He hates it when you say you are fat, because he likes your body the way it is and he accepts every change as a natural process. If he starts complaining about his tummy and his bad shape, you won’t like it, will you? There are for sure plenty of other reasons to love him. It is the same for him. And if he happens to agree with you sometime, it will probably be because of the fact that instead of complaining, you could start training and working on it.

“You don’t do this anymore.”
Researches show that women are more emotional, but men are more sensitive. This means that if you tell him that he is wrong and that he is acting unreasonable, he will probably shut to himself or he might just respond aggressive to you. If, for example you tell him that he isn’t so nice lately and he doesn’t do any nice things for you, you practically tell him that you are unappreciated.
More effective way of expressing your complaints and accusations is to do it by using a particular reason for an excuse. For example, “I know that you don’t remember any dates, but the fact that you forgot about our anniversary makes me feel that you accept our relationship for granted.”

“When do you think you will be ready to become a father?”
This question is almost the same as “When will we get married?” Family and fatherhood are both a serious step which shouldn’t be taken in an irresponsible way. Men realize that. In both cases they will feel pressed against the wall, because the initiative is yours. And it is very likely that they hurt your feeling if you ask them something like that.
This is why, if you feel that your biological clock is tic-tacking, while your partner keeps putting off this important step, you should have an honest conversation with him. Tell him about your worries, concerns and visions about the future. Find out what he thinks. You should better know these things now, than when it’s too late.

“Not tonight, darling”
Men hate to be rejected. They realize that they could be in the same situation, but the fact that you suppress their libido, makes them angry. The best thing you should do when you are not in the mood of having sex is telling your husband how much you love him and how much he turns you on. But after a tough day at work, you feel really exhausted and uncomfortable. Your partner should know that you are not rejecting him, but the physical contact in this particular night.

And which is the phrase that your husband hates to hear?  
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Friday, November 21, 2014

Mother-in-Laws

For men only! Don’t be afraid of your mother-in-law!




Image: © Monkey Business / Fotolia
The mother-in-law is the mother of your partner. This literally means that your half is a half of a mother-in-law.
A long time ago, Balzac said that if you want to find out what your wife would be after 20 years, you need to look at her mother. But don’t be afraid – times change.
Nowadays, the mother-in-law earns almost as much money as the father-in-law, she commands, she invests and she has her own finances. She loves her children, her car and you, only if you don’t remind her of her own husband.

If you want to win her, you have to earn a lot, to like what she likes and not to criticize her clothing, even when you are convinced that they are your wife’s. If the mother-in-law is the “head of the family”, we advice you not to pretend you are Napoleon. You will get over your Waterloo right when you try arguing with her, even if the subject is the yesterday’s soccer game. She might not have watched it, but she has an opinion! You should respect that.

If you have happened upon a mother-in-law who is a housewife, you should take off your shoes the moment you enter the door. You should buy her a cleaning system “Rainbow” and you should not touch the remote control when your hands are dirty. Don’t leave any hair on the soap, clean the table and don’t leave your clothes on the floor. Invite friends at home only when you know that you have enough time to clean the mess after they leave and of course to get sober. Oh, and don’t forget to put the toilet seat back in place!

If your destiny has served you with “miss perfection”, you better be careful. You won’t ever be good enough for her daughter. There will be always someone else who is better than you, smarter, richer, more careful and more concerned about you. Put up with it! Arguing with her is pointless: she talks, you don’t make a sound and then you don’t make a sound – she talks. You should better remain silent. It is a big mistake to try proving to her that you are the right person. Whatever you do, she will be convinced that you will never become good enough.

The mother-in-law who is intellectual is something else. She thinks of you as her son, she admires you and she supports you, she even takes your side when you are arguing. You could go to the movies with her and even on a vacation. And all this – until her daughter starts complaining from you. Then she turns into a tiger. For such situations people (probably men) have their sleeping bags and beds prepared. You should better leave and visit a friend for a while. This will make her think that you are not the one who has made a mistake and that you are not guilty. This happens with no words, with a sad look. At least until you turn round the corner.

The dream mother-in-law is friendly and always smiling as in a tooth paste advertisement. She shines like a summer sun and she always talks good things about you in front of her friends. She is always delicate, she never interrupts you and she knows her rights and obligations. She always helps without asking you to return the favor. She is always at the right place in the right time. She is generous and helpful.

In case you have run across such a lovely person…you are probably dreaming! Hello, hello…wake up! Stop sleeping; get up, because you have millions of things to do! Don’t forget to throw the garbage on your way out…
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Thursday, November 20, 2014

The Hairstyle.


The woman’s character according to the hairstyle





Image:© Victoria Andreas / Fotolia
The hairstyle influences the confidence and sense of the world. It reflects the inner world of its holder as well as the momentary condition. The hair type says a lot about the character of the person. The length can give away the temperament or the communication skills. 
It is good to know that the hair length determines the quantity and speed of the main brain’s energy. Long hair gives more strength but slow down the reaction and outcome in life. The short one supplies the organism with harsh but powerful energy, speeding the processes in the organism as well as the reaction and outcome of events.
So if you want to keep a happy period in your life let your hair grow. If you want to achieve something within short terms, the short hair will help you.
Let’s go back to the hairstyles. It is a common rule that when a woman wants to change something in her she starts with the hair.
There are more permanent hairstyles that women do not change for years; we will talk about them now.

Image:©puhhha / Fotolia
Short, sports haircuts speak of dynamicity, energy and health. Women who have such hair manage to realize their personal plans; they manage to get out of every situation without any outside help. Short-haired women look intelligent and confident. Women with very short hair show tough character and emancipation. Open-ears, neck and forehead hairstyles speak of balance and competitive spirit. Their holders are often leaders in everything they do: business, sport, friendship, sex. The ladies who prefer short and very short haircuts as well as those with extravagant and thick bangs are liable to flirt, they are risky, including in love and sex, they are prone to adventures but they are not very practical.
Medium-length haircuts speak of stability, materially speaking.
A “Shiny lion’s mane” haircut speaks about perfect control over work and heart. These hairstyles uncover the art abilities of their holders as well as other positive features – kindness, cheerfulness and romance. People with such hair are cheerful but usually take everything too personal.
More interesting hairstyles like short haircuts on the front with a tail on the back speak of success in society, self-respect and good confidence. The long, freely falling hair is a symbol of the passion which every one of us has; it is a symbol of freedom. Many man nowadays waste time choosing women who to love for their loose hair, expressing a special kind of sexiness according to them. But women with this type of hair are usually energetic, very impulsive, initiative in personal terms.
Long blond and straight hair – it is the girl you can take to a romantic dinner but you will be the only one talking because she’s shy (probably very shy) and only the sparkle in her eyes will tell you you will be seeing each other again. Women having long, dark and curly hair are considered to be not confident and not very intelligent.
Pony tail speaks of women knowing the influence they have on men and they are ready to compete with those who threaten their influence. For women with this type of hair you should put more effort into attracting their attention. They can surprise the man every time they are together. Women who lift their hair lower on the back are confident and not very impulsive. Too flattened pony tail indicates of still women, very exacting and even depressed.
The extensions speak of success in education, crafts and trade.
Dyed or curled hair attract more resources necessary for communication, they are successful in studying and traveling. Red dyed hair for example speaks for the will of the omen to be provoked, to be noticed – not only by the opposite sex. This woman is always initiative and determines her faith all by herself.
Strict haircuts express style, elitism and inaccessibility. Their holders are strict, they like classical things in life. Women with strict and tidy hair are always calm with their loved ones. They do not act extremely emotional and are almost never spontaneous.
The straight box-shaped hair expresses ability to communicate well with the peers as well as with the older ones. Typical for them is that they protect their family, they help creating it although their choice should be approved by the parents.
The Vamp Style hair shows special sexuality. Such hair type speaks for provocativeness to meeting people from the opposite sex.

Image:© Valua Vitaly / Fotolia
Braided hair speaks of inner harmony and peace, lack of contradictions.
Special “teller” of the human character is the bangs: for men as well as for women. Under it usually hidden are the shy, non-confident, the infantile. Women with thick bangs hide something and are always very prone to secrets. If they can, they stay observers all the time. They are very volatile – they change moods, opinions and positions. They wake up with one decision and go to bed with another. They are pretentious and treacherous. They always aim to be recognized at any cost even though they often seemingly “bare” themselves before others. It is an act. They like themselves the way they are.
Evenly distributed hair expresses inner balance. Such people are stable or at least try to be such in everything they do. The twisted on the left hair expresses more determination with women. Hair, twisted on the right speaks for famine features and delicacy in relations.
Open forehead always speaks of energetic, powerful women. They are firm, determined and open. It is all as it should be with them. Discussions are short and usually end the way they want it.
Women who wear a wig suffer of a mania for changing their identity all the time. They look for a stable base but they are never sure in what they do, they try to attract somebody they loved when they were young. Maybe they do not realize it. The covering of the years marks characters that are always insecure; they adjust hard and are not very communicative. They are stubborn but shy and never fully reveal. They are ready to shrink every time they feel coolness. They are easily hurt and are not very faithful

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Thursday, August 28, 2014

Marriage insight

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Finding the ideal partner inflicts more harm than good, according to psychologists. They reached an insight into how the never-ending search for the ideal love can prevent you from enjoying your marriage or the relationship you have.
Marriage is dead! The strong grasp of the law and prejudice has loosened. We are released from the obligation to preserve the horrible marriage for the sake of the children and for “the people.” The divorce rate has remained constant at around 50 percent in the last decade. The easy way we enter relationships and ruin them, often turns marriage into something like sports.
Once upon a time marriage as an institution was valued due to its practical distribution of roles: the dad that earns, the mother that takes care of the home.
Nowadays a partner who shares our taste and status, who sees us for who we are, who loves us, for all those reasons that we think are worth, who helps us become the person you always wanted to be …
We ran away from the rigid social order and instead adopted the more onerous mandate: to find a perfect match. And anything that we believe is not short of this ideal, it prompts us to ask: “Is that all you can find? Am I as happy as I should be? Could there be someone somewhere better for me? “And often by answering with “yes”to the last question we become victims of our own great expectations.
This “someone” is of course our “soul mate”, the man or woman who will rid us of our weaknesses, will provoke the best in us and will provide continuous support and respect, which is the essence of the contemporary relationship.
The truth is that few marriages or partnerships consistently follow this ideal. The result is a small hell, where we care about our partner but also – secretly – stepped one step at the door to our heart. By doing so we constantly revise our relationship: “Will I be happier, smarter and better person with someone else?”. This is a painful hesitation, characteristic of the modern world.

“Nothing else caused more unhappiness than the concept of the soul-mate” says the Atlanta psychologist Frank Peteman.
He gives the example of “John”, a social worker who married a business woman in his early 20s. He met another woman, a psychologist when he was 29 and after two agonizing years, left his wife – for her. But things did not work out – after four years of cohabitation and increasing pressure from her to marry him, he left her. Now John realizes that the relationship with his wife was strong and with future, but he thinks he was not able to understand that 10 years ago when he left her. “There was always someone better around the corner and it turned the safety and security of marriage in boredom and routine. It was hard to resist the attraction of women who seemed more exciting, “he said. Now 42 years old and still single, John realizes: “I hurt others, and I hurt myself.”
Like John, many of us don’t give up the commitment, but also the right to keep looking. Psychotherapist Terrence Real calls this behavior with the term “stable ambiguity.” “It means to walk along the edge of the relationship – you’re in it but not for it,” he said. There are a million ways to do that: to have a relationship, but not to be sure you want it, you want to keep your eye open for good “deals”, to choose someone that is impossible to be with or is far away.
In fact, commitment and marriage offer real physical and financial “rewards”.
Touting the benefits of marriage may sound like politically rhetoric, but nonpartisan social polls say it: people who have relationships have a lot more than singles, at least on average. Married people are more financially stable, according to Linda Waite, a sociologist at the University of Chicago. Both married men and married women have more “benefits” than those without a partner, for women, the differences are usually very big.
The benefits go beyond the piggy bank. Married people tend to live longer than those who are alone. Couples also live better: “When people expect to stay together, says Waite, they combine their resources and improve their standard of living. They also combine their skills – such as cooking or financial management and achieve better results. Women tend to improve the health of their men by banning stupid bachelor habits and bugging them to exercise and. .. to eat their vegetables. Also – people who do not compare their partner with someone else in bed, have fewer sexual problems and are more emotionally satisfied by sex. The relationship doesn’t have to be wonderful and exciting for a better life – statistics is the same as for mediocre marriages and for fervent as well. 

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Planning your honeymoon

Eight Months to One Year Before

Six Months Before

Three Months Before

One Month Before

Two Weeks Before

One or Two Days Before


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