How to Tie a Tie

 – Easy Step-by-Step Instructions for 4 Basic Tie Knots

The tie is an accessory that can dress up a smart-casual outfit some more. It will take you up a notch in the fashion department whether you wear it with a full suit or just a shirt.

Some jobs will require you to wear a tie, and this is probably what puts people off the idea of wearing one in casual environments, but it has an even greater effect when worn casually, because so few of us do this. There are many different styles of casual ties that are great for wearing on a night out or on a first date.

But first you have to know how to tie one.

At some point we all will be required to wear a tie, whether it’s for a wedding, a job or for a night out . But how do you tie a tie? To answer that question, I’ve drawn up these step-by-step instructions to 3 relatively easy tie knots to help you.

The Four-in-Hand Knot

First up is the Four-in-Hand knot, because it’s the easiest to learn. It’s a small, slightly asymmetrical knot that is best suited for narrow collars. This is the knot that is most appropriate for casual situations, since it doesn’t look like you spent too much time in front of the mirror meticulously tying it. It looks like you just quickly put on a tie before you went out the door, almost as an afterthought. Also, if you’re ever in a hurry, this is the knot to know.

Four-in-Hand Tie Knot Instructions

1. Begin by crossing the wide end over the narrow end.
2. Fold the wide end underneath the narrow end.
3. Pass the wide end horizontally over the narrow end again.
4. Take the wide end up and through the loop around your neck.
5. Take the wide end through the knot in front. Proceed to tighten the knot and pull it up to your collar.

Half Windsor

The Half Windsor is an easier version of the traditional Full Windsor knot. Once you have become proficient in this one, it will be a piece of cake learning the latter. One might say it’s a bit of a stepping stone to the real deal, but that doesn’t disqualify it as a great knot in its own right. While it’s more modest than it’s full counterpart, it’s equally formal, so I don’t advise you to wear it casually. It’s much better suited for the office environment.

Half Windsor Tie Knot Instructions

1. Begin by crossing the wide end over the narrow end.
2. Fold the wide end underneath the narrow end.
3. Pull the wide end up.
4. Take the wide end back down through the loop.
5. Move the wide end horizontally over the narrow end.
6. Take the wide end up through the loop.
7. Pull the wide end through the knot in front. Proceed to tighten the knot and pull it up to your collar.

Full Windsor Tie Knot

The Full Windsor tie knot is best used for formal occasions. You shouldn’t wear this one casually. It’s a thick, wide, triangular knot that’s completely symmetrical. It’s best suited for shirts with a wide spread collar. This one should be reserved for weddings, presentations and important business meetings.

Full Windsor Tie Knot Instructions

1. Begin by crossing the wide end over the narrow end.
2. Take the wide end back through the loop around your neck.
3. Take the wide end over the narrow end in the same direction you crossed it at step 1.
4. Fold the wide end underneath the narrow end.
5. Take the wide end up…
6. And back through the loop in the same direction as step 4.
7. Fold the wide end horizontally over the narrow end.
8. Bring the wide end up through the loop once more, like you did in step 2.
9. Pull the wide end through the knot.

Pratt knot

This is the one that’s suitable for any occasion; formal,  casual or business casual. The Pratt knot is neither as wide as the Windsor or as narrow as the Four-in-Hand and thus pairs well with most dress shirts. It’s a symmetrical knot, but it’s a lot looser to wear than the Windsor. This multi-purpose knot is great to wear to work, and afterwards you can loosen it up for a more casual look when you go out to get a drink with your colleagues. Read the instructions well, as this one starts out a bit different than the previous two.

Pratt Tie Knot Instructions

1. Begin by crossing the wide end under the narrow end, while the tie hangs inside out around your neck.
2. Pull the wide end up over the narrow end.
3. Take the wide end down through the loop and tighten the knot.
4. Move the wide end horizontally over the narrow end.
5. Pull the wide end back up through the  loop.
6. Pull the wide end through the knot in front. Proceed to tighten the knot and pull it up to your collar.

Conclusion

It’s important for men to learn these four basic knots themselves.  Just use these four easy step-by-step instructions on tying a tie and practice them.

It’s really not that hard. You just need to get the hang of it.

Men How to Dress for Your Body Shape

There's nothing the fashion world loves more than doling out directions and issuing edicts. “This is in.” “This is out.” “This is cool.” “This is hideous.” “This will make you look like a style superstar.” “This will make you look like a total fashion disaster.”

It's enough to make your head spin. Lesser men have collapsed under the pressure. And the worst part about it all is that half of those pesky proclamations are based purely on transient trends instead of truly timeless style. What's the point of following a fad if it's going to fall out of favour in a month or – even worse – if it doesn't actually look good on you?

It's a cardinal style sin we've all been guilty of at least once: dressing to suit what's in style, but not what actually suits you. Your clothes should flatter your body shape, your skin tone, your hairstyle, your eye colour and your personality. A great wardrobe is a mix of classic pieces and current trends, all personalised to be uniquely you. Knowing how to dress for your body type – and which styles to avoid – is the first step to owning your personal style.

Know your body type

Male bodies may lack the curves of female bodies, and therefore have significantly less variation, but that doesn't mean differences don't exist. Think about how often you hear fashion gurus talk about the importance of fit. An expensive garment that isn't right for your body will look bad no matter how much money you dropped on it, and an inexpensive piece will look like a million bucks if the fit is right. The key to it all is identifying your body shape and learning how to enhance it. Most men fit into one of these five body type categories:

1. The Heavy Lifter

His chest and shoulders are broad, but his hips and waist are narrower. There is a significant difference between top and bottom, with a wide upper body and a smaller lower body, that is frequently the result of regular "get massive" workouts.

2. The Athlete

Picture those incredibly fit Olympic chaps. The Athlete is broad across the chest and shoulders, and narrow in the waist and hips

3. The Block Man

Gets his name because his torso takes the shape of a rectangle, with little difference between the width of his chest/shoulders and the width of his waist/hips.

4. The Happy Eater

If the Heavy Lifter is an inverted triangle, the Happy Eater turns the triangle right-side up. His chest and shoulders are narrower than his waist and hips, making his lower half appear larger than the upper.

5. The Cuddly Teddy Bear

You know exactly what this guy looks like. The Cuddly Teddy Bear is round and huggable, frequently with narrower shoulders and slim legs. This is probably where we're all headed eventually, so it's a shape worth understanding even if it's not you yet.

How to dress

The Heavy Lifter

 As a Heavy Lifter, your large frame is somewhat imbalanced. Your wider upper torso and narrower lower half can be evened out by your wardrobe. The goal is to draw attention to your hips while reducing attention to your upper chest. Focus on pulling the eyes downwards, avoiding bu lk on the upper body, and adding a little extra to your legs. FYI – Gerard Butler is a great example of this body type. Sparta!

Put the focus on the right places. V-necks narrow the chest and draw the eye down. Stripes across the stomach and detailing around the hips (think belts or pockets) also help emphasise the parts that need it.

Go graphic. Simple graphic prints and logos will get attention, taking it away from your more substantial upper chest. Any kind of details, prints, or eye-catching colours on the shoulders, on the other hand, will draw the eyes to the wrong area.

Scratch the skinny stuff. Skinny leg cuts will make the top half of your body appear even wider. Try straight or more relaxed slim cuts instead, to balance out your proportions. You can also use statement trousers to lure the eye away from your broad shoulders. If you can, go for tapered jeans.

Expert tip from Godwin Hili (director, Godwin Charli)

You probably enjoy wearing most garments close to the body however, tailored garments can look pretty silly if worn too small. This is not to say a Slim Fitting or European fit is out of the question. You just need to accept that most read-to-wear brands will not accommodate this shape off the rack. Similar to the 'Athlete', it's crucial to fit the shoulders and chest and accept that the waist and/or hips will need to be narrowed. This allows for more accurate sculpting of the back region and accentuating of the smaller waist. A schoolboy error is to find a garment that fits your small waist because you like how 'tight' it feels, only to bust out in the chest and awkwardly split the seat of a pant.

The Athlete

Good news for you, Athlete types: you're the fit bastards that make everyone else seethe with jealousy. Because your upper and lower body are already well balanced, your shape is much easier to dress than others. You can play with colours and cuts without having to worry much about whether or not everything is properly in proportion. Football players and athletes are a good example for this body type.

Be daring. Take advantage of the gifts Mother Nature gave you and experiment with your wardrobe. Your body was made for making a statement, so don't be afraid to take risks (as long as you still feel comfortable in your clothes).

Prints and colours were practically made for you. There's no need to be conservative unless the occasion demands it. Bold colours, prints and patterns are just as well suited to your body shape as solid colour basics.

Play around with other things. If you don't have to worry about your body type, you're free to explore other interesting ways to spruce up your wardrobe. Try out new trends, take new cuts for a test drive, investigate new textures and fabric combinations, and work on understanding how to flatter other things – your complexion, your hair cut and colour, etc – instead.

Godwin's expert tip

Lucky you. Sometimes referred to as an 'inverted triangle' shape because of the obviously smaller waist in comparison to the upper body, it's imperative that a jacket fits you across the shoulders and chest. A slim fit or European fit is a good starting point for this body type. Unless the garment has been made-to-measure, the waist and hips of the jacket must be narrowed to accentuate this physique by taking it in. Trousers should be tailored without being too slim and shirts should be a slim fit or contain darts. It's all about getting the proportions and balance correct, to avoid looking like you will topple over.

The Block Man

For the Block Man, the primary aim is to add shape where there isn't much to begin with. There's only so much you can do to physically alter your body, but wearing the right kind of clothing can do wonders for creating the illusion of having a different body type. When dressing, a little style sleight-of-hand will make your shoulders seem wider while making your lower torso appear narrower.

Choose your prints carefully. A print that imitates your rectangular shape – like a geometric pattern – will emphasise the issue you're trying to correct. Well placed prints or colour, however, can be an effective way to enhance the upper portion of your body.

Layer thoughtfully. Adding clothing is the easiest way to add bulk to your body. Shirts, knitwear and scarves can be used to widen the chest and shoulders while narrowing your lower torso.

Use structure. Here's your chance to put shoulder pads to good use. Structured blazers and jackets add the extra weight your shoulders need. For bonus points, have a tailor take the sides in or thin the jacket's arms.

Godwin's expert tip

Its important here to clearly define your upper and lower body components. Clever tailoring can achieve a more sculptured look. Look for a tailored jacket with a more padded shoulder to give the impression of broader shoulders. Ensure that the sleeve width of the jacket is narrow as well as the area between the under arm and waist. Your goal should be to create the illusion of shape throughout the upper body.

The Happy Eater

Again, your wardrobe is your opportunity to correct the imbalances in your natural body shape. For Happy Eaters, that means wearing clothing that adds some substance to a sloping shoulder line and smaller chest. What you wear should reduce the effect of a lower half that appears wider than your upper body. Streamlined cuts and flattering colours are important for you.

Enhance and emphasise your shoulders. Steer clear of polo necks and narrow crew-necks because they decrease shoulder with, and opt for structured tailored blazers and jackets instead. Single-breasted and button-down styles will also help streamline your torso.

Don't put the focus on your stomach. Horizontal stripes across the stomach are a definite no, as is any kind of outerwear with details (like pockets) that draw attention to the stomach area. Dark colours will look best on your triangular shape.

Give your lower body a little more heft. Wear trousers with a straighter leg. Skinny or heavily tapered trousers will widen the central part of your body, which is exactly the opposite effect you're going for.

Godwin's expert tip

Keep it structured and tailored through the upper body. Neglecting this will only emphasis your mid section and you don't want that. Accompany this with straight leg trousers to balance out the look. Have fun in winter layering with simple knitwear underneath blazers and coats, giving the impression of a broader chest and shoulder region.

The Cuddly Teddy Bear

As a Cuddly Teddy Bear, the majority of your mass is concentrated at the centre of your body, making your arms, shoulders and legs look disproportionately slim. To make your body appear more defined, you must add shape to your shoulders and wear clothing that appears to lengthen your torso. Beware of anything that shortens you in any way.

Stripes are your friends (sometimes). Vertical stripes and pinstripes will instantly lengthen your body, but horizontal stripes will make you appear rounder.

Don't draw attention to your waist (or lack thereof). Any kind of statement belt will attract attention to your waist and highlight your widest point. A printed or textured piece in a darker hue is a better way to add flattering interest to an outfit.

Length and fit are hugely important. Be sure that your sleeves and trousers are the correct length and fit well. They should add shape and definition to your body without making your limbs appear shorter.

Godwin's expert tip

It's a common mistake to give up on tailored clothing and wear oversized pieces. Focus on comfort with a tailored edge. In other words, the garments should fit well across the shoulders, not be too roomy through the sleeve and underarm, and not be too tight across the waist region or lower half of the body. Avoid jackets that are short, ensuring a longer front balance. Again, its all about balance and drawing the eye away from the belly region.

10 Must-Have Fashion Accessories for Men

Recently we asked people what the must-have fashion accessories are for men. The responses we received ranged from the basic to the bizzare. What we found most interesting was that most responses didn’t involve material goods, but instead mentioned behaviours that a man can only perfect, not purchase.

Tumblr

Accessory #1 – A Smart Watch
There’s a lot to be said about a man with a nice watch. It shows he appreciates the finer things in life and that he does not rely on his iPhone to tell the time. A quality watch should be high on every man’s list. It doesn’t need to be expensive, it needs to be classic and preferably not a Thailand special which you purchased after a visit to soapies.

Tumblr

Accessory #2 – A Smile
Even if you have pearly whites like Steve Buscemi there’s still much value in being able to smile. Nothing says you take yourself too seriously like the guy at the bar who’s too busy being cool rather than having a good time, who attracts e-taggers (B&Ts) and voids accessory #3. Smiles cost nothing and last a lifetime, so use them often.

Tumblr

Accessory #3 – A beautiful woman (or man) on one’s arm
We all know beauty comes in many forms, but there’s a lot to be said for a man with a beautiful or smart or funny woman on his arm. If you get all three, then put a god damn ring on it. A quality partner tells the world that you’re a discerning chap who doesn’t have The Clap, she’ll bring out the best in you too. Pick a bad one and they’ll think you drink the bath water.

Accessory #4 – A Real Classy Pen 
No, not a Biro, rather choose something that’s been handed down or recently purchased from the Mont Blanc store. A gentleman’s special pen (no not that one) should be only used in times of triumph like signing the papers after selling your business or perhaps after putting that final nail in the divorce coffin. Choose wisely because it will be noticed.

Tumblr

Accessory #5 – Good Manners
All to often forgotten in the game of being a Cad & Bounder. We’re not quite talking using your coat to cover puddles, but remember your P’s and Q’s, refrain from eating like a Neanderthal and when the time comes do NOT ask ‘if they are real’. Manners are always noticed and noted, giving a man an air of success and maturity.

Tumblr

Accessory #6 – An Inoffensive but Memorable Cologne 
We all have smells. Some good. Some bad. When it comes to cologne, I prefer to wear one that’s unique, sensual and memorable. It’s time to ditch the Lynx and invest in a scent that will assume the role of chief panty remover and all round deal maker. Take yourself down to David Jones and spend some time smelling the likes of Comme Des Garçons, Six Scents, Dior and YSL.

Tumblr

Accessory #7 – Knowledge / Book Smarts
They say knowledge is power and power makes the dishwasher and other cool things around the house work. Nothing will stop a man in life like a limited knowledge of what’s going on in the world around him. No need to be a scholar but at least know something other than the process of how Fosters is brewed and you’ll be well on your way. Pick up a book, go to an art gallery and take in some culture.

Tumblr

Accessory #8 – Nice Shoes  
A timeless and true mark of a man is his shoes. Nothing kills a date with a beautiful women quicker than a dirty pair of Cons and some Explorer Socks. Invest in leather, the Italian type that will outlast the many women you’re trying to impress. If you can afford it we recommend owning more than one pair and alternating so they don’t get worn out.

Tumblr

Accessory #9 – A Helping of Confidence
Nothing says you’re a man who people want to do business or get busy with like a man with his head held high, chest out and walking tall. Confidence has allowed some of history’s biggest failures get to the top and stay there for oh let’s say… 8 years (a fool me can’t get fooled again). Find something you’re good at, do it well and be proud that you do it so well. The feeling will extend to other areas of your life and soon you’ll be John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.

Tumblr

Accessory #10 – Your Friends
The last and most important of all accessories are your friends. They say you can never soar like an eagle if you’re surrounded by turkeys, and this rule I’ve stuck to all my life. That’s why I have a fantastic group of underachieving sociopaths as my closest acquaintances. Whether you like it not, you’ll always be judged by the company you keep. Choose wisely and don’t be afraid to let the occasional one go if you’re no longer aligned with total world domination. 

Wedding Gifts from the Groom's Parents

When a son is getting married, parents of the groom often want to get their child and his new wife a special gift. Although there are guidelines on what the parents of the groom are supposed to pay for during a wedding, there are no real rules of etiquette regarding gifts they should get the new couple. Most couples have a wedding registry filled with items they prefer as gifts, but most parents choose to get their child something more special. Whether the groom's parents have a small or large budget, there are several gift ideas parents of the groom can utilize when looking for the perfect wedding gift.

Wedding Gift Ideas

Parents of the groom who want to give a special wedding gift to their son and his bride should give the gift to the couple together either at the rehearsal dinner, the morning of the ceremony on in the few days leading up the ceremony.

Money

Although money seems like an impersonal gift, it is an appropriate from the groom's parents, and one that can be very helpful for the new couple. Once the groom's parents have decided upon an amount they are comfortable with, the gift can be given just as money for the couple to use to get on their feet, or for a more specific purpose. For example, the parents may give money with the intention of the couple paying for the honeymoon, or using it as a down payment for a new home.

Heirloom

A family heirloom is another gift that is an appropriate way to celebrate the start of a new union. Items that have been passed down from generation to generation within the family can be given to the couple. An item, such as a piece of jewelry owned by someone in the groom's family can also be given to the bride to welcome her to her new family. New heirlooms can also be given for the couple to cherish such as a bottle of fine wine or liquor that comes with instructions to open on a specific anniversary down the road.

Accommodations

Paying for special accommodations for the bride and groom can be a special wedding present to make the bride and groom's special day even more memorable. Parents of the groom can arrange for special accommodations for the bride and groom to get ready on the day of the ceremony, or the day after the ceremony if the couple is not leaving for a honeymoon right away. Also, parents can get their son and his wife a special hotel room in which to spend their first night together as husband and wife. The accommodations given as a gift should be special and more than just a standard hotel room. If the couple already has accommodations, a gift of surprising them with an upgraded suite or room can be given as well.

Shower Gift Ideas

Wedding shower gifts are often given at the bridal shower, where the son is not in attendance. Even though the son may not be at the actual shower, the gift should still be for both the bride and the groom to enjoy together.

Gift Certificates

Gift certificates may not seem like personal wedding shower gifts, but giving gift certificates to help the couple pay for something in lieu of handing them cash is a more appropriate gesture for a shower. Certificates for the groom to get his hair cut and the bride to get her hair done on the morning of the wedding make thoughtful gestures and make for one less thing the new couple has to pay for themselves. Gift certificates for the couple use on the honeymoon are both thoughtful and useful. Many times, the bride and groom are responsible for paying for all of the meals and activities on their honeymoon, which can get costly. Items for area restaurants or spas that the couple can use together make great gifts.

Items for the Wedding

A wedding shower is a great time for parents of the groom to give the couple a special gift that can be used during their ceremony or reception and then kept as a keepsake. Prior to purchasing a gift, the groom's parents should check with the bride's parents to make sure they haven't already purchased the same gift for the couple. Most wedding keepsakes can be personalized with the bride and grooms name and the date of the wedding. Some wedding keepsake ideas are:

• Guest books
• Unity candles
• Cake knife and server
• Champagne flutes for toasting

Gift Giving Etiquette

Some parents choose to simply fulfill their traditional responsibilities for the wedding and forgo giving an additional gift. According to most rules of etiquette, the parents of the groom are responsible for paying for the rehearsal dinner and boutonnieres and corsages for immediate family members. The grooms parents may also pay for the honeymoon, the groom's cake and the alcohol at the reception. However, many parents of the groom also volunteer to help with other expenses as a gift.

Letters

Parents who volunteer to pay for all of these items may choose to be more budget-conscious about another gift, so it is acceptable to give the bride and groom a special letter and a small token of good luck on the day of the wedding. According to common rules of etiquette, it is a polite gesture to write a letter to the bride and to her parents on the day of the wedding. The letter should welcome the bride and her family to the groom's family.

The Perfect Wedding Gifts

No matter what type of gift parents of the groom decide to give their son and his new bride, gifts should always focus around the new couple and their love for one another. While choosing a gift keep the couple's personalities in mind to make sure their gift is truly a perfect sentiment for their special day.

7 Ways to Surprise your Groom at the Wedding

1. Make a "love notes" journal. The Mr. is a published author and while I couldn’t be prouder, he isn’t exactly the king of public speaking or even conversing in a private setting. However, he knows just how to melt my heart by scattering love notes around the house. I will publish each one in a leather-bound journal, along with new letters written by me, and give it to him on the morning of our wedding day. It doesn't cost a lot, but the sentiment is priceless.

Photo Credit: Wildflower Weddings

2. Get your bridal party in on the fun. Although I adore all things mush, we all know I can’t deny my inner sass, which is why I just may have my girls flash my groom a message right before I walk down the aisle. Not only is it adorable, but he’ll never expect it...

Photo Credit: Wedding Day Dreams

Photo Credit: The Lovely Find

…or have your girls text him the message instead. Either way, he’ll be counting the seconds till you walk down the aisle! 

3. Engrave his wedding band with a meaningful message. It can be a verse, your wedding dates or something that is sure to make him laugh. (While he knows about this idea, the Mr. will not know what I choose to engrave—he will surprise me with my own engraved ring on the wedding day as well).

Photo Credit: Susan Stripling

4. Plan a private moment after the vows. We’re marrying in Italy near a lake, so after the vows, I plan on surprising Edwin with a magical boat ride for two. The guests will be mingling during the cocktail hour, so it’s the perfect time to sneak in some alone time. If you're having a fall-themed wedding, consider having a hayride, instead.

Photo Credit: Green Wedding Shoes

5. Include his favorite foods. It’s 12 a.m.—do you know where your man is? Mine is snacking away, and since food is the way to a man's heart, why not include some of his favorite munchies at the wedding? Add them in for cocktail hour if he's a hamburgers-and-hotdogs kind of guy, and you want your reception menu to be a bit more upscale. Or have a midnight lounge where you serve breakfast items like mini pancakes, quiche and donuts, to celebrate his favorite meal of the day.

Photo Credit: Family Bites

6. Have breakfast in bed the day after the wedding. Nothing is more romantic than waking up to your guy as his wife for the very first time. But with crazy events and the never-ending hosting that comes along with throwing a wedding, you may be too busy to enjoy lounging the day after. Ask your Maid of Honor or planner to send over breakfast in bed, which could be just the cure. 

Photo Credit: Zsa Zsa Bellagio

7. Take some boudoir photos for him. It’s a trend that I L-O-V-E and couldn’t be more of a fabulous gift. You don’t have to channel the vibes of Playboy, but you can make it sensual by wearing his favorite sports jersey or his 9-to-5 business shirt (and nothing else). Although most brides surprise their groom with boudoir photos on the wedding day, I plan on giving him mine either on our honeymoon or one-month anniversary so that he won't see it coming.

Photo Credit: Charlotte Boudoir

A Groom's View

This article was sent to us by one of our weekend Grooms..!!  Thank you for your honesty and insight from the grooms point of view.

After experiencing the entire wedding planning process and being happily married for more than six months, I have gathered a few tips that I think could help future grooms (brides may want to consider showing this to their grooms!)

To be a groom worthy of praise is not to simply stand at the altar and wait for her (or him, but for the sake of consistency I will henceforth use “her”) to walk down the aisle. It’s high time we did away with this bizarre tradition of letting brides do all the planning (or at least it is time to add a much-needed amendment), while the groom’s only job is to merely show up on time come wedding day. It’s not like roles should reverse and grooms should take on all the planning alone, but there’s really no logical reason to not be a significant part of the planning process. This wedding is a celebration of your love together; don’t you want to take ownership playing some role in what is arguably the most important day of your life?

1. Think about one aspect of the wedding that you would like to have the most influence on.

It's no secret that your fiancée is likely to want to fulfill some sort of child hood fantasy about planning a wedding from start to finish. But before she (or he) decides on what song is played while you cut the cake, take a moment to think about one aspect of the wedding that you'd like to have your name on. It could be the song the wedding party comes out to, it could be the choice of the DJ or photographer, or it could be as simple as selecting a gift to award the lucky guy who catches the garter. This wedding isn’t just about your bride, it’s about the two of you together! You will have your friends and family there celebrating with you, it’s important to showcase the two of your styles and interests coming together as one.

If you can work together on planning the wedding, think of how well you’ll be able to work together on other big events in life.

2. Help with research.

In case you didn’t already know this, the wedding industry is ENORMOUS! Every aspect of the wedding is an industry in and of itself, from wedding emergency kits to wedding toppers, so be prepared to sift through hundreds of vendors who are all vying for your $$$ (but remember, not all vendors are in it for the $$$...some honestly want to tell/share/photograph/film your story). This is likely one of the most time consuming parts of planning a wedding and if you don’t spend enough time doing real research, you’ll likely end up with a bride who is vehemently upset about something one of the vendors did (or did not do).

To be successful when it comes to research, take the time to sit down with your fiancée and talk about what each of you would like to see in a wedding, and perhaps discuss the areas you are willing to shell out more cash and the areas that you are not too concerned with spending a great deal of money. Then consult friends and family members who perhaps are married and may be willing to share some valuable advice about vendors they know. There’s usually some friend who at least knows another friend who recently got married, so getting this information should not be difficult.

As a side note, while chiavari chairs are elegant and a staple of most modern weddings, most of your guests will hardly notice the difference and furthermore, those chairs aren’t going to capture any of the timeless moments of the day and put them together in a wedding film or a photo album that will be the only visual record of the day you got married. I’m not saying that all your money should be spent on photography and videography, but I do believe that a great deal of research should go into these two areas mainly because the professionals you hire will be charged with the responsibility of recording your wedding day in such a way that you will be able to revisit those emotions you felt on that day. I highly doubt you’ll get that from chiavari chairs or fancy cake toppers. I’m sure you’d appreciate a valid record of the day considering the amount of time and energy that went into planning.

3. Be present at all (or as many) meetings with vendors as you can.

While my wife and I were planning our wedding, I was dumbfounded at how shocked the majority of our vendors were when I would show up to every meeting. They often claimed it was such a rare thing for the groom to tag along and be so involved in all the planning. After thinking about it, I did notice that most wedding vendors cater their language towards the bride. They believe it is only brides who are visiting their pages and inquiring about their business. I imagine that is true and will continue to be true in the future, but why shouldn’t a groom come along and be present during meetings that involve critical decisions about their wedding? I can only imagine that the overall experience of the wedding for both the groom and the bride will be elevated knowing that the groom was present at these meetings and voiced his opinion about certain things.

Engagement is key; grooms have to be willing to engage in the wedding planning process. It’s understandable that many will be apprehensive about it because of their perception of what wedding planning is like. But in all honestly, things are different now. Wedding planning has married the digital age. There are so many things you can do to successfully plan for weddings from the comfort of your own home. Have Skype interviews with vendors, research online and read reviews about vendors. Major wedding sites like TheKnot.com and WeddingWire.com offer complete online experiences that any groom could get accustomed to if they wanted to have any involvement.

Again, I understand the reality of bride who just wants to plan everything without any assistance (there’s nothing wrong with that!), but I can’t imagine anyone not at least wanting their groom to tag along and participate, even if it is in a minimal way. You’ll be planning a lot of things and having to make tons of decisions as a married couple, what would it hurt to start doing it now?

4. Write your own vows!

I can hardly think of a better way for a groom to woo his bride on their wedding day than to put into words the reasons why he got down on one knee. It’s the one time to think and make an attempt (although futile) to express in words the feelings you get when she walks into the room. Even if you do not wish to be at every meeting with the florist, even if you could care less what color the napkins will be or whether there will be a salad fork to the right of the soup spoon, there’s nothing that should prevent you from taking one opportunity to pour your heart out to your soon to be wife in front of family and friends.

So maybe you aren’t the gushy type who likes to pour your heart out (especially in front of people). Fine, but that shouldn’t stop you from attempting to write a spirited speech that at least celebrates the love you feel for your fiancée. Only the two of you define the love between you, so whether you want to recall some funny moments from your relationship or write a poem, it’s totally up to you. No one is holding you to any standards. It’s really the least you could do, and there’s no bride in the world that wouldn’t appreciate such a thing. You’ll probably earn a deep admiration from her family and friends as well. Everyone is already there to watch you get married, so there’s nothing wrong giving them a reason why they are sitting there on that day.

I understand there are situations where original vow writing is restricted due to the structure of the wedding ceremony, but there’s nothing stopping you from speaking to your bride during the reception. By that point, the ceremony is over so most of the pressure is already off of your shoulders. Friends and family have likely loosened up, therefore making it a much easier atmosphere to open up in front of people.

Come on, it’s not that difficult. And it will mean the world to your bride.

5. Be the stress reliever on the day of the wedding.

There is a saying…”Happy Wife…Happy Life.” The phrase takes affect long before you exchange rings. In order to guarantee a pleasant and eventful wedding day free from horrific levels of stress, the bride will look to YOU to be her relief. Forget the wedding planner and her bridesmaids, it is ultimately on your shoulders to keep that smile glued on her face. It will also be likely that you’ll be the only voice of reason she’ll be willing to listen to, so be sure to forecast to the best of your ability the events of the day. Try to avoid any potential crises by assigning a day planner, or communicating effectively with your wedding planner.

There’s nothing to be afraid of, but it will only benefit you and your bride to be mindful of the very fact that no wedding is perfect. Regardless of the hours of planning every last detail, there will be pitfalls and things will not go according to plan. This sort of advice can only go so far, this one relies solely on you. Take the proper precautions to ensure a wedding day that is memorable and full of happiness. Remember that the whole purpose is about the two of your lives being bounded together for rest of your life.

There are plenty of other methods for being a “better” groom. There’s really no way to be a “better” groom, but hopefully there is something here worth thinking about. Ultimately, it’s about creating a positive wedding experience and things can only get better with more involvement from both parties. Let this experience demonstrate your abilities to work together as a team, and learn where each other is at in terms of their wants and needs. Weddings are a learning experience; one that you will surely revisit time and time again.